Hi Everyone,
Thank you for coming back.
It might sound a bit weird, but I am also thanking myself for coming back.
After posting that first article, I felt kind of stuck, and didn’t really dedicate enough time, thoughts or courage to this project.
I feel a strong imposter syndrome – mixed with a lot of cringe – and need to constantly remind myself that the voice in my head telling me that:
- Nobody cares
- Who am I / What do I know that would be so useful to the world?
- I’ll never be able to build the consistency to do it
- It’s all pointless
.. does not have my best interest at heart. And I am somehow lucky, because that other voice, telling me:
- What if it would have worked out?
- What do you have to lose?
- What if this was useful to your purpose in life?
- What if it was useful for others?
.. is pushing me to act and to move forward, even if I’m not even sure of the direction this is taking.
And I think this is a good thing to start with. We spoke about the purpose of this to be looking for a feeling of peace.
But what does peace mean, really?
I think there are as many definitions as there are people on this planet.
The way I see it, peace in my life is not the absence of conflict, but it’s more about accepting the reality as it is, and having the clarity to recognise what I cannot accept, and the courage to change things if they don’t serve me.
Rings a bell? It makes me think about the famous Alcoholics Anonymous prayer, the Serenity Prayer, that says so beautifully:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
This prayer always resonated in me, and I didn’t really know why. I feel like it’s probably because it brings together the very powerful notions of surrender and courage at the same time, that you wouldn’t think could be linked.
- Surrendering, in my mind, has that implied sense of passiveness, being submerged, giving up. But as leaned more into my development, I realised that surrendering is also about letting go, giving in, and accepting what is being presented to you. There’s that idea of going with the flow, as when you are trying to swim upstream, and you finally surrender and let the current take you where it’s supposed to.
I am a firm believer that the stronger you resist the change, lessons that are being presented, or situations (externally, but also inside of you) the harder it gets…. But we’ll have time to come back on that.
- Courage has more of an active connotation in my mind. With the ability to act, to stand up to something despite circumstances (fear, danger…).
And so, as my internal voices fighting inside my head, and as the AA Serenity Prayer, majority of things in life have a duality, are paradoxes, and I think it is important to accept them.
One of my University teachers said to the class one day “conflict is not pathological, what is pathological, is the absence of conflict, at the scale of an individual, families, groups, countries, or the whole humanity”.
And I think this is one of the biggest truths I have heard in my life. If you have no conflict, by definition, you have an absence of critical thinking that exposes you, or your group to high risks, as you are concealing a part of the world and of the reality from the information you are using to evolve into the world, and ultimately make decisions.
Think about it… someone that does not challenge his way of thinking or thoughts against the reality, is actually potentially crazy and cut from said reality.
At some point in my life, when my anxiety was very strong, one of my biggest fears was that I would lose it. And one of my friends told me “if you were really about to lose it, you wouldn’t realise it, that’s the principle of being crazy, you don’t know you are.”.
Let me tell you: it was the last day I ever had anxiety (around that topic, lol, it isn’t so easy getting rid of that one).
I’m getting a little bit lost trying to make my point, which is the following:
Having contradictions and paradoxes in your life and thoughts is normal, and even more than normal, it is healthy. And it’s really important to get comfortable with it.
The reality is not black and white, and there are pockets of truth in everything, because there are as many realities as human beings on this planet.
And for me, peace starts with that, recognising that there is truth in everything, and accepting each reality is as valuable as another – as long as it doesn’t transform into harmful or hateful actions, of course.
Because living in a world where everybody thinks the same, feels the same and speaks the same would honestly be quite boring. And creepy.
So as a first kind of exercise, next time you feel strongly about something, or you are in a debate, get mad, or have a very set opinion on something, ask yourself: what would be a truth, a reason or a justification for people to have other views or act differently?
I think understanding and accepting the paradoxes will bring you a more comprehensive view and understanding of the world – and yourself.
If the way we view things, and the story we tell ourselves about the world create our reality, we might as well not deny half of it, or resist anything that comes our way, it will allow us to live life at its fullest.
Don’t hesitate to post your thoughts or share examples!
Thank you for reading, and stay tuned as we slide gently into the real work…!
Your dedicated and grateful C.